

(To tourists running into the Black Hills) Get out of those woods and go home! Because there's no goddamn Blair Witch!.

We saw something at the Coffin Rock today. We're cold, we're tired, and we're a little freaked out.

For two glorious days and nights we will be walking the same path that the Witch herself once walked. We've got a bond, man, like a connection. (About tourists in Burkittsville) And when people come to my town, they come up to me and hug me, like, they say "It's real, man" and I'm like "Yeah, I know it's real too, dude".But since I was released, I have seen it, like, seventeen times. (About The Blair Witch Project) I couldn't see the movie when it first came out, because I was.(To Stephen) But you can't understand, because you're so afraid! Just like those pathetic little children from the Blair Village.(Repeated line) Earth, Air, Fire, Water!.Well, can you tell the bitch at the cashier to do her fucking job!.(To Peggy) Am I going to have a problem with you, too?.(Upon being accosted by a redneck) Oh yeah? Suck this.
